AllSunitaCanEat: My Idea of Beautiful: SF Weekly Dish 2011

On the season premiere of Real World San Diego, Frank, a nice bisexual hipster, professes that beauty comes in all forms, beauty is defined differently for different people, and cited the exotic Alexandra as the most beautiful woman in the house, far exceeding Ashley whose blonde model looks had caught the attention of the other men. His entrancement with her beauty progressed from constant compliments and longing looks to sadistic begging for attention and psychotic episodes of rage when rejected to a final exhausted collapse in the confessional room.

I was reminded of Frank's proclamations as I descended upon the SF Design Center on Sunday for the 2011 SF Weekly Dish, an event featuring dishes from over 40 restaurants, as well as wine and cocktails. The venue was a beautiful spot and all four floors of the Design Center seductively harbored tables filled with unlimited amounts of mouth-watering food and beverages. This was my idea of beautiful.

I ravished my way through the first floor of bite-size restaurant tastes, glared jealously at those in line in front of me and lustfully gulped down homemade vodka crans while frantically taking notes on my iPhone. By the middle of the second floor, I was slightly delirious and dizzy but intent on continuing my foray. By the third floor, I was sweaty and red in the face, and begging the vendors to give me the smallest portions possible so I could draw out the tastes. And by the fourth floor, I trekked on in denial, convinced I could make it work despite my swollen stomach, my paralyzed taste buds and my burning heart which ached from the build up of hydrogenated oils in its arteries.

I reached a table of fried chicken in defeat, and my brain yelled "Am I not strong enough?" while my clogged intestines raged, channelling Frank's interrogation of Alexandra "Am I not cute enough?" before his chair-throwing fit. When I couldn't even muster the energy to smuggle some fried chicken into my purse, we decided it was time to go. Cruelly, a homemade ice cream table was placed near the exit, and even though I knew it was a bad idea, and my friends told me not to do it, and the only possible outcome was for me to end up hurting more, I grabbed a final scoop. It hurt so good and I wept.

You cannot possibly know what I went through unless you were actually there. All I can do is list out everything I ate, took a bite of, or stared at for a while before throwing away and hope that with all of that data careening towards you, your brain will fry and fizzle out and you'll feel defeated. That's my goal: for you to understand my defeat from sensory overload.

Round 1:
Clockwise from top right:

Alfred's: Zinfandel braised tenderloin stew

Cliff House: Tomato and feta salad

Chabaa Thai: Chicken curry

Anchor and Hope: Thai squid ceviche